How I Am Breaking Free From My Perceived Barriers
The Mogul Message Newsletter 7 July: There will always be barriers and understanding them can spark powerful change.
Hi everyone!
How are well all.
I have to say this summer is super hot! So, take care ans stay in the shade.
For this week’s newsletter, I’ll be focusing on my (and our) precieved barriers.
These are the barriers that we make for ourselves. Left to their own devices, they can hold us back. Let’s see what we can do about that.
Afterward, I’ll be sharing some good Substack finds.
Enjoy!
Whatever my goal and whoever I am, the road to achieving my desired outcome will inevitably be bumpy, rough, and full of challenges, blockers, obstacles or barriers.
Whichever term I choose to use to describe the hiccups along the way, they’ll be there.
So, I need to ask myself when setting a goal: “What obstacles or challenges (my choice of words, as they imply, I can do something about them) are possibly going to get in my way?”
If I decide to learn a new language, I tend to have planned my study schedule in advance, or at least have a reliable app at the ready to help me along the way. Then, if there is an issue, say a busy week or an unexpected interruption, I’d hopefully have an alternative plan in place. If not, I’ll figure something out, right? I won’t just give up and stop learning.
So, why when I set goals do I and we sometimes meet barriers and just give up?
Well, there are a variety of reasons and it would require me to write an entire book rather than a quick newsletter to address them all, so in today’s newsletter, I’ll focus on barriers.
What are my barriers? Are they real or perceived?
Obviously, there will be real barriers to achieving a goal.
A lack of money, time constraints, child care issues, a need to up-skill or get support, and the need to acquire resources. I can usually do something about these and the trick is to learn how to get around these.
But, what I forget to address and which is the most powerful force in holding me back, are perceived barriers.
Perceived barriers are the limitations I create for myself in my own mind. I am sure that many of you know what I am talking about.
These stop me from being who and what I want to be, doing what I want to do, and feeling the way I want to feel.
Perceived barriers give way to that age-old cycle of self-sabotage. Over my career, I have been helping myself to identify, address and make changes to destructive, limiting and hurtful patterns of thinking and behaving.
Why do I do it? Well, the list of reasons is endless, personal and unique to me. Growing up in a family that didn’t believe in me, experiencing bullying as a teen, collecting and believing limiting self-beliefs from family, friends, teachers, the media, and romantic relationships.
These could also include the relationships I develop with myself that impact my self-talk, self-esteem, self-image, self-belief, self-motivation, self-discipline, and self-confidence.
My perceived barriers are unhelpful and negative assumptions that I make about myself.
A few examples include:
It’s not worth it (I’m not worth it)
People like me are just unlucky
I’m too old
I’m too young
Again, this list of limiting perceived beliefs would go on and on, and they are unique to everyone.
How do I overcome perceived barriers?
Firstly, I need to be curious about what my perceived barriers are.
Secondly, identify and acknowledge them.
Thirdly, became inquisitive about how I gained them and accepted them.
Fourthly, how am I going to deal with them now that I know that I have them? Am I going to keep them (people do get comfortable in feeling uncomfortable)? Or, am I going to address them, challenge them and overcome them?
Fifthly, replace the negative with a new positive. What would I like to believe to be true now and in the future?
Sixthly, put this new thinking into practice. Be willing to support myself in this new way of thinking.
This isn’t an easy journey, but it is worth it. So, let’s remember not to let our perceived barriers to changing our mindset stop us from doing so!
Posts I enjoyed read during the week:
Here are some new posts from others that I’m sure you’ll like:
On solopreneurship:
Do creativity and success belong together? from
To Realize Your Full Potential, Stretch Yourself Thin from
Poor Solopreneurs Think These Three Thoughts from
Other enjoyable reads:
Lennon & McCartney from
Growing Older Gratefully from
Thank you for reading!
Until next time, take care and stay well.
And, have a great rest of the weekend!
Got any thoughts? I'd love to hear from you! Share your experience in the comments.